Section 4—The Growing Personality
Chapter 18—Security in the Home
Human Love Should Draw on Divine Love—It is only in Christ that a marriage alliance can be safely formed. Human love should draw its closest bonds from divine love. [See section V, “Life’s energizing force.”] Only where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection.—The Ministry of Healing, 358 (1905).
Reaching God’s Ideal—Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper. What human wisdom cannot do, His grace will accomplish for those who give themselves to Him in loving trust. His providence can unite hearts in bonds that are of heavenly origin. Love will not be a mere exchange of soft and flattering words. The loom of heaven weaves with warp and woof finer, yet more firm, than can be woven by the looms of earth. The result is not a tissue fabric but a texture that will bear wear and test and trial. Heart will be bound to heart in the golden bonds of a love that is enduring.—The Ministry of Healing, 362 (1905).
Weigh Every Sentiment in Contemplating Marriage—Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.—The Ministry of Healing, 359 (1905).
Real Union Is the Work of Years—However carefully and wisely marriage may have been entered into, few couples are completely united when the marriage ceremony is performed. The real union of the two in wedlock is the work of the afteryears.—The Ministry of Healing, 359, 360 (1905).
Romantic Imagination Disappears—As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets the newly wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This is a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life depend upon their taking a right course now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses and defects, but the hearts that love has united will discern excellencies also heretofore unknown. Let all seek to discover the excellencies rather than the defects. Often it is our own attitude, the atmosphere that surrounds ourselves, which determines what will be revealed to us in another.
There are many who regard the expression of love as a weakness, and they maintain a reserve that repels others. This spirit checks the current of sympathy. As the social and generous impulses are repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold. We should beware of this error. Love cannot long exist without expression. Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of kindness and sympathy.—The Ministry of Healing, 360 (1905).
Love Stimulates to Nobler Aims—Let each give love rather than exact it. Cultivate that which is noblest in yourselves, and be quick to recognize the good qualities in each other. The consciousness of being appreciated is a wonderful stimulus and satisfaction. Sympathy and respect encourage the striving after excellence, and love itself increases as it stimulates to nobler aims.—The Ministry of Healing, 361 (1905).
Individuality Not to Be Merged—Neither the husband nor the wife should merge his or her individuality in that of the other. Each has a personal relation to God. Of Him each is to ask, “What is right?” “What is wrong?” “How may I best fulfill life’s purpose?” Let the wealth of your affection flow forth to Him who gave His life for you. Make Christ first and last and best in everything. As your love for Him becomes deeper and stronger your love for each other will be purified and strengthened.—The Ministry of Healing, 361 (1905).
We have an individuality of our own, and the wife’s individuality is never to be sunk into that of her husband. God is our Creator. We are His by creation, and we are His by redemption. We want to see how much we can render back to God, because He gives us the moral power, He gives us the efficiency, He gives us the intellect; and He wants us to make the most of these precious gifts to His name’s glory.—Manuscript 12, 1895.
Entire Submission Only to Jesus—God requires that the wife shall keep the fear and glory of God ever before her. Entire submission is to be made only to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has purchased her as His own child by the infinite price of His life…. Her individuality cannot be merged into that of her husband, for she is the purchase of Christ.—Letter 18b, 1891 (The Adventist Home, 116.)
Thought That Union Is a Mistake Not to Be Harbored—Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.—The Ministry of Healing, 360 (1905).
https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/77.785#785
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for the privilege of marriage, which is founded in You alone. Thank You for Your wisdom and mercy, which guides and protects us through the trials of life. Thank You for Your Word and biblical advice, which encourages us in the total, true and right development of character and mind culture, resulting in healthy marriages and families that present a unique witness to the world that You are the living God. Please bless us truly to contemplate the life of Jesus and to allow Your Word to develop within us that true religion, which ennobles the mind, refines the taste, sanctifies the judgment, and makes us partakers of the vibrant health, purity, and the holiness of Heaven. Because we ask all these in the Awesome name of Your Son, Almighty Jesus the Christ, our Savior, we say Thank You and Amen.
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DID YOU KNOW THIS…? Matthew 19:6 KJV — Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. [The WORD OF GOD—It’s the only flesh that is safe to eat (meditate on) to live forever!]
Do you feel sorrowful, disconnected—without a place to feel at home or useful? I pray this might show you the way forward. Watch…
https://www.youtube.com/live/2QB6fcwVuws?si=fsEvZU-rkI-BngfD
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FREE HEALTH TALK* open to the public Thursdays at 5pm at Country Life Natural Foods Store and Vegan/Vegetarian Restaurant, 1217 Eberhart Avenue, Columbus, GA. The topic for Thursday, June 4, “Air for Healing” with Jai Hewlett.
*Exception: $10 for cooking classes
WHGR 91.5 FM went LIVE noon on Thanksgiving Day 2025, for Hurtsboro (my childhood home town) and surrounding areas, including Tuskegee, Alabama.
If you want to support Christian radio programming for these final days, please visit
https://www.ucheepines.org/radio
Thank you!!!
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I coordinate wonderful health and worship events and conferences online and onsite as a gospel medical missionary at Uchee Pines, a total plant-based health retreat, where doctors and practitioners specialize in lifestyle medicine. For event details, visit https://www.ucheepines.org/events
Therefore, if at any time you fail to receive this post as a text, please visit
https://baiom.org/author/audreystovall/
where devotionals are first posted daily (almost without fail). From there devotionals are publicly shared to my page on FB, LinkedIn, and Signal (in My Story), and to a response-restricted group on WhatsApp (once again when I am able to find the time to successfully rebuild it).
NOTE: These began as daily texts to encourage my academy roommate and dear friend of nearly 50 years, until she suddenly passed March 2023. Now I continue to compile and send them to anyone who will receive them and to her family in honor of their mom. Lately, I have begun featuring consecutive chapter portions of a select Bible-based book.
If you agree to continue receiving them, then this is my personal gift to you; and in this way, I not only honor God but the memory of a very dear friend whom I desperately miss.
My personal prayer is that God will bless me to find ways to multiply this gift, so that we all may be encouraged to be found faithful in the sight of a Holy God, whenever Christ returns or our eyes are shut in the sleep of death.
It is a prayerful process that leads me to share from my personal study.
So please feel free to forward to your loved ones or to anyone, as God leads you. I’m calling them Barb’s Devotionals.