Section 4—The Growing Personality
Chapter 18—Security in the Home (Part 2)
Relationship Controlled by Reason—Those who regard the marriage relation as one of God’s sacred ordinances, guarded by His holy precept, will be controlled by the dictates of reason. They will consider carefully the result of every privilege the marriage relation grants. Such will feel that their children are precious jewels committed to their keeping by God, to remove from their natures the rough surface by discipline, that their luster may appear. They will feel under most solemn obligations to so form their characters that they may do good in their life, bless others with their light, and the world be better for their having lived in it, and they be finally fitted for the higher life, the better world, to shine in the presence of God and the Lamb forever.—Healthful Living, 48, 1865 (Part 2) .
A Well-organized Family—The family firm should be well organized. Together the father and mother should consider their responsibilities. Together they should work for the highest good of their children. There is to be no variance between them. Never should they in the presence of their children criticize each other’s plans or question each other’s judgment. If the wife is inexperienced, she should try to find out where her work makes the work for her husband more difficult as he labors for the salvation of the children. And the husband should hold up the hands of his wife, giving her wise counsel and loving encouragement.—The Review and Herald, July 8, 1902.
Parents Must Govern Themselves—Parents who successfully govern their families must first govern themselves. If they would only have pleasant words in their families, they must let their children hear only pleasant words from their lips. The planting of the seed will produce a like harvest. Parents have a solemn, sacred work to perform in educating their children by precept and example. They are under obligation to God to present their children to Him fitted at a very early period to receive an intelligent knowledge of what is comprehended in being a follower of Jesus Christ. If those who claim to be Bible Christians have children who do not fear and love God, in most cases it is because the parents’ example has not been a correct one. False, spurious seeds have been sown which have produced a harvest of briers and thorns.—Manuscript 59, 1900.
Gentle Words and Smiles for the Family—It is not only our privilege but our duty to cultivate gentleness, to have the peace of Christ in the heart and as peacemakers and followers of Christ to sow precious seed that will produce a harvest unto eternal life. Professed followers of Christ may possess many good and useful qualities; but their characters are greatly marred by an unkind, fretful, faultfinding, harshly judging temper. The husband or the wife who cherishes suspicion and distrust creates dissension and strife in the home. Neither of them should keep his gentle words and smiles for strangers alone, and manifest irritability in the home, thus driving out peace and contentment.—Letter 34, 1894 (Our High Calling, 179.)
Vulgar Speaking to Be Avoided—Fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, I beseech you, do not indulge in low thought and vulgar speaking. Coarse sayings, low jests, want of courtesy in the homelife, will leave an impression upon you, and if frequently repeated will become second nature. The home is too sacred a place to be polluted with vulgarity, sensuality, and recrimination. There is a Witness who declares, “I know thy works.” Let love, truth, kindness, and forbearance be the plants cultivated in the garden of the heart.—Letter 18b, 1891
Never Manifest Rudeness or Unkindness—Do you never manifest rudeness, unkindness, and impoliteness in the family circle? If you do manifest unkindness at your home, no matter how high may be your profession, you are breaking God’s commandments.—The Review and Herald, March 29, 1892.
Friends Not to Meddle in Homelife (counsel to a young man)—The home circle should be regarded as a sacred place, a symbol of heaven, a mirror in which to reflect ourselves. Friends and acquaintances we may have, but in the homelife they are not to meddle. A strong sense of proprietorship should be felt, giving a sense of ease, restfulness, trust.
But your association with other women and girls has been a source of temptation to them, leading them to take liberties and overstep the restraint which the marriage relation imposes on every man and woman. You have not perceived it, but your love of amusement and the spirit you have encouraged has not impressed others with the sacredness of the marriage relation.
Practical homelife is the great test of character. By his tender thoughtfulness in the home, by the exercise of patience, kindness, and love, a man determines his character.—Letter 17, 1895
Wives Pine for Words of Love—Many women pine for words of love and kindness and the common attentions and courtesies due them from their husbands who have selected them as their life companions. How much trouble and what a tide of woe and unhappiness would be saved if men, and women also, would continue to cultivate the regard, attention, and kind words of appreciation and little courtesies of life which kept love alive and which they felt were necessary in gaining the companions of their choice.
If the husband and wife would only continue to cultivate these attentions which nourish love, they would be happy in each other’s society and would have a sanctifying influence upon their families. They would have in themselves a little world of happiness and would not desire to go outside this world for new attractions and new objects of love. Many a wife has sickened and died prematurely for the want of encouraging words of sympathy and love manifested in kindly attentions and in words.—Letter 27, 1872.
Husband Can Shut the Door Against Disease—The husband should manifest great interest in his family. Especially should he be very tender of the feelings of a feeble wife. He can shut the door against much disease. Kind, cheerful, and encouraging words will prove more effective than the most healing medicines. These will bring courage to the heart of the desponding and discouraged, and the happiness and sunshine brought into the family by kind acts and encouraging words will repay the effort tenfold.
The husband should remember that much of the burden of training his children rests upon the mother, that she has much to do with molding their minds. This should call into exercise his tenderest feelings, and with care should he lighten her burdens. He should encourage her to lean upon his large affections, and direct her mind to heaven, where there is strength and peace and a final rest for the weary.
He should not come into his home with a clouded brow, but should with his presence bring sunlight into the family and should encourage his wife to look up and believe in God. Unitedly they can claim the promises of God and bring His rich blessing into the family. Unkindness, complaining, and anger shut Jesus from the dwelling. I saw that angels of God will flee from a house where there are unpleasant words, fretfulness, and strife.—Testimonies for the Church 1:306, 307 (1862).
https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/77.785#802
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for the privilege of a marriage founded in You alone. Thank You for Your wisdom and mercy, which guides and protects us through the trials of life. Thank You for Your Word, which encourages us in the total, true and right development of character and mind culture, resulting in healthy marriages and families that present a unique witness to the world that You are the Eternal God of Life ad Love. Please bless us truly to contemplate the life of Jesus and to allow Your Word to develop within us that true religion, which ennobles the mind, refines the taste, sanctifies the judgment, and makes us partakers of the vibrant health, purity, and the holiness of Heaven. Because we ask all these in the Awesome name of Your Son, Almighty Jesus the Christ, our Savior, we say Thank You and Amen.
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DID YOU KNOW THIS…? Ephesians 5:25 KJV — Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. [The WORD OF GOD—It’s the only flesh that is safe to eat (meditate on) to live forever!]
Do you feel sorrowful, disconnected—without a place to feel at home or useful? I pray this might show you the way forward. Watch…
https://www.youtube.com/live/2QB6fcwVuws?si=fsEvZU-rkI-BngfD
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FREE HEALTH TALK* open to the public Thursdays at 5pm at Country Life Natural Foods Store and Vegan/Vegetarian Restaurant, 1217 Eberhart Avenue, Columbus, GA. The topic for Thursday, June 4, “Air for Healing” with Jai Hewlett.
*Exception: $10 for cooking classes
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I coordinate wonderful health and worship events and conferences online and onsite as a gospel medical missionary at Uchee Pines, a total plant-based health retreat, where doctors and practitioners specialize in lifestyle medicine. For event details, visit https://www.ucheepines.org/events
Therefore, if at any time you fail to receive this post as a text, please visit
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where devotionals are first posted daily (almost without fail). From there devotionals are publicly shared to my page on FB, LinkedIn, and Signal (in My Story), and to a response-restricted group on WhatsApp (once again when I am able to find the time to successfully rebuild it).
NOTE: These began as daily texts to encourage my academy roommate and dear friend of nearly 50 years, until she suddenly passed March 2023. Now I continue to compile and send them to anyone who will receive them and to her family in honor of their mom. Lately, I have begun featuring consecutive chapter portions of a select Bible-based book.
If you agree to continue receiving them, then this is my personal gift to you; and in this way, I not only honor God but the memory of a very dear friend whom I desperately miss.
My personal prayer is that God will bless me to find ways to multiply this gift, so that we all may be encouraged to be found faithful in the sight of a Holy God, whenever Christ returns or our eyes are shut in the sleep of death.
It is a prayerful process that leads me to share from my personal study.
So please feel free to forward to your loved ones or to anyone, as God leads you. I’m calling them Barb’s Devotionals.