Section 4—The Growing Personality
Chapter 19—Parental Influences
Controlled by Divine Principles—There rests upon parents the most solemn obligation to train their children in the fear and love of God. In the home the purest morals are to be preserved. Strict obedience to Bible requirements is to be taught. The teachings of the Word of God are to control mind and heart of the homelife may demonstrate the power of the grace of God. Each member of the family is to be “polished after the similitude of a palace” (Psalm 144:12) by the divine principles and precepts.—The Review and Herald, November 10, 1904.
Parents Need to Understand Children—Parents should not forget their childhood years, how much they yearned for sympathy and love and how unhappy they felt when censured and fretfully chided. They should be young again in their feelings and bring their minds down to understand the wants of their children. Yet with firmness, mixed with love, they should require obedience from their children. The parents’ word should be implicitly obeyed.—Testimonies for the Church 1:388 (1863).
God Has Appointed a Path—Angels of God are watching the children with the deepest interest to see what characters they develop. If Christ dealt with us as we often deal with one another and with our children, we would stumble and fall through utter discouragement. I saw that Jesus knows our infirmities and has Himself shared our experience in all things but in sin; therefore He has prepared for us a path suited to our strength and capacity, and like Jacob, has marched softly and in evenness with the children as they were able to endure, that He might entertain us by the comfort of His company and be to us a perpetual guide. He does not despise, neglect, or leave behind the children of the flock. He has not bidden us move forward and leave them. He has not traveled so hastily as to leave us with our children behind. Oh, no; but He has evened the path to life, even for children. And parents are required in His name to lead them along the narrow way. God has appointed us a path suited to the strength and capacity of children.—Testimonies for the Church 1:388, 389 (1863).
Fretfulness Should Be Repressed—Parents, when you feel fretful, you should not commit so great a sin as to poison the whole family with this dangerous irritability. At such times set a double watch over yourselves and resolve in your heart not to offend with your lips, that you will utter only pleasant, cheerful words. Say to yourselves: “I will not mar the happiness of my children by a fretful word.” By thus controlling yourselves you will grow stronger. Your nervous system will not be so sensitive. You will be strengthened by the principles of right. The consciousness that you are faithfully discharging your duty will strengthen you. Angels of God will smile upon your efforts and help you.
When you feel impatient, you too often think the cause is in your children, and you blame them when they do not deserve it. At another time they might do the very same things, and all would be acceptable and right. Children know and mark and feel these irregularities, and they are not always the same. At times they are somewhat prepared to meet changeable moods, and at other times they are nervous and fretful, and cannot bear censure….
Some parents are of a nervous temperament, and when fatigued with labor or oppressed with care, they do not preserve a calm state of mind, but manifest to those who should be dearest to them on earth a fretfulness and lack of forbearance which displeases God and brings a cloud over the family. Children, in their troubles, should often be soothed with tender sympathy. Mutual kindness and forbearance will make home a paradise and attract holy angels into the family circle.—Testimonies for the Church 1:386, 387 (1863).
Paralyzed Minds of Parents—We have some knowledge of Satan’s manner of working and how well he succeeds in it. From what has been shown me, he has paralyzed the minds of parents. They are slow to suspect that their own children can be wrong and sinful. Some of these children profess to be Christians, and parents sleep on, fearing no danger, while the minds and bodies of their children are becoming wrecked.
Some parents do not even take care to keep their children with them when in the house of God. Young girls attend meetings and take their seats, it may be, with their parents, but more frequently back in the congregation. They are in the habit of making an excuse to leave the house. Boys understand this and go out before or after the exit of the girls, and then, as the meeting closes, they accompany them home. Parents are none the wiser of this. Again, excuses are made to walk, and boys and girls assemble in the fairgrounds or some other secluded place, and there play and have a regular high time, with no experienced eye upon them to caution them.—Testimonies for the Church 2:481, 482 (1870).
Diet and Parental Influences—If parents had lived healthfully, being satisfied with simple diet, much expense would have been saved. The father would not have been obliged to labor beyond his strength in order to supply the wants of his family. A simple nourishing diet would not have had an influence to unduly excite the nervous system and the animal passions, producing moroseness and irritability. If he had partaken only of plain food, his head would have been clear, his nerves steady, his stomach in a healthy condition, and with a pure system he would have had no loss of appetite, and the present generation would be in a much better condition than it now is.
But even now, in this late period, something can be done to improve our condition. Temperance in all things is necessary. A temperate father will not complain if he has no great variety upon his table. A healthful manner of living will improve the condition of the family in every sense and will allow the wife and mother time to devote to her children.
The great study with the parents will be in what manner can they best train their children for usefulness in this world and for heaven hereafter. They will be content to see their children with neat, plain, but comfortable garments, free from embroidery and adornment. They will earnestly labor to see their children in the possession of the inward adorning, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.—Healthful Living, 45, 1865 (Part 2) . (Selected Messages 2:437, 438.)
https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/77.841#841
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for the family values founded upon Your Word. Thank You for Your wisdom and mercy, which guides and protects us through the trials of parenting and building character fit for earth and Heaven.Thank You for Your Word, which encourages us in the total, true and right development of character and mind culture, resulting in healthy marriages and families that present a unique witness to the world that You are the Eternal God of Life ad Love. Please bless us truly to contemplate the life of Jesus and to allow Your Word to develop within us that true religion, which ennobles the mind, refines the taste, sanctifies the judgment, and makes us partakers of the vibrant health, purity, and the holiness of Heaven. Because we ask all these in the Awesome name of Your Son, Almighty Jesus the Christ, our Savior, we say Thank You and Amen.
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DID YOU KNOW THIS…? But godliness with contentment is great gain. —1 Timothy 6:6 KJV. [The WORD OF GOD—It’s the only flesh that is safe to eat (meditate on) to live forever!]
Do you feel sorrowful, disconnected—without a place to feel at home or useful? I pray this might show you the way forward. Watch…
https://www.youtube.com/live/2QB6fcwVuws?si=fsEvZU-rkI-BngfD
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