It’s about salvation. It’s about glorifying Elohim. It’s about the two living as if one person—having the mind and love of Elohim, His character within, lived out in the life through the Holy Spirit.
They are made holy by Elohim daily by their faith trusting Him, having the faith of Ya’Shuah, believing in Him—living being hearers and doers of His Word. They choose to love Elohim with His own love that He puts in us; and love ourselves and love others as we love ourselves.
A holy marriage is all about the male and female joined together glorifying Elohim first and foremost and individually—it’s by the will being daily surrendered to Elohim that the Holy Spirit sanctifies, perfects love in the souls that they be delivered from sin. Know that the holy marriage is not the marriage that Satan has the world and the heathen committed to—Satan’s counterfeit.
The husband is to be a godly man. He is daily surrendered to Elohim, daily crucifying the flesh the old man of sin; being converted by the Holy Spirit—the husband knows that He is the priest of his home, leading out in his home teaching His household the love the character of Elohim—teaching Elohim’s commandments, statues, judgments by words and his daily choices in living by example. He is helping, and building up the wife and being a godly example, especially if he has children—He is teaching them also. He is not a people pleaser but by faith pleases Elohim, and His wife. Therefore, the godly husband knows that he is the savior of his wife, he is the protector, the provider. He is not a brute. He does not seek to rule over her. He does not tear down. He does not in anger nor in frustration yell at her, (nor at the children if they have them) nor speak, live out anger sinning against Elohim, etcetera.
Therefore, the helpmeet being the wife, this is her work in being a godly, virtuous woman of Elohim: She is the Proverbs 31 woman unto Elohim in living His will unto her husband, by faith pleasing Elohim in her life each and every day. She lives the love of Elohim because He has put His love in her—Christ dwells in her through the Father putting the Holy Spirit in her to dwell in her—she is the habitat of the Holy Spirit.
The holy pair are one as Christ and His bride are one—as Elohim the Holy Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are One. The husband and wife are to be the examples of the relationship between Elohim and His people, Elohim and each individual soul.
“Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Ephesians 5:17-33 KJV
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For He that will love life, And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; Let him seek peace, and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, And his ears are open unto their prayers: But the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.”
1 Peter 3:1-12 KJV